badassprodigy | The Not-So-Abandoned Warehouse

Entry tags:

The Not-So-Abandoned Warehouse - Saturday Afternoon

Barry had skipped over the fireworks last night to test the durability of his recently developed fabric. The testing was soon interrupted by the chirp of his tablet letting him know that he had a text from back home.

Roxie: Your BFF is a complete idiot.
Barry: Shit. Is that's supposed to be news?
Roxie: No shit. Guess what he did?
Barry: Ass rocket?
Roxie: Ass rocket. Except instead of shooting out of his ass it blew up.
Barry: Is he okay?
Roxie: He's fine. Sore but fine. Sara's boy toy on the other hand jumped backwards and cracked his skull on the air conditioner when he fell off the porch.

Barry spent the next two minutes laughing hysterically before replying.

Barry: Sounds like the best fourth of July ever.
Roxie: My idiot boyfriend has powder burns over his ass. I blame you for not being here to stop him.
Barry: I warned him! It's his own fucking fault.
Roxie: Good thing he's good in the sack.
Barry: I do not want to know this.

Barry sighed as Roxie began to elaborate Jeremy's sexual prowess in purple prose detail. He put his tablet to the side and let her go on and on as he started using a blowtorch on his new invention.

[Open? Open. Subject to slow play.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"Ooo," said Pinkie, peering over his shoulder and adjusting her safety goggles. "What's that?"

Did you have a security system, Barry? Because it had nothing on the cartoon pink pony.

Edited 2014-07-06 03:18 (UTC)

He did have a security system. One that he usually left off when he was in the warehouse itself but-

"Jesus," Barry said looking a bit started. "Where the hell did you come from?"

And where the hell did she keep safety goggles?

Same place she kept her cannon, of course.

"Outside," Pinkie said, rolling her eyes. "Duh. Whatcha doin'? Is it fun? Can I help?"

Another pink pony bounced across the warehouse behind them. "What's this one do?" she asked.

What do you suppose the odds were that this would end in explosions?

Barry twisted around at the sound of another voice and boggled at the sight of another pony.

"Wait. Holy shit, there's two of you?" He inquired before immediately getting his head straight. "For fuck's sake, don't touch anything!"

It's totally going to end up in explosions.

"Pfft," said the Pinkie next to him. "At least."

As though to prove her point, a popping sound came from the ceiling where a third Pinkie was making her way using suction cups. "This place is so big!" this Pinkie said.

"I think touching things would be more fun," said the second Pinkie. "Like the buttons. I like buttons!"

Barry looked up at the ceiling in shock. "Get the fuck off of there!"

And then registered what the second Pinkie had said. "And no fucking buttons! Or switches!"

Barry grabbed his console and started to initiate security protocols to shut down all radioactive or explosive devices in the warehouse.

Really, he probably should have started with that.

"Who ya talking to?" a fourth Pinkie asked, picking up his tablet. ". . . Oh." She slowly put the tablet back down where she found it and backed away. There were some things that were not for a pony clone to know.

Give Barry a break! He wasn't expecting Pinkie Madrox.

"Hey! That's personal!" Barry shouted at the fourth pony as he continued to put in his security code. "No touching fucking anything!"

~~Oh sure, make me sad that there's no Jamie on the island for this.~~

"Not even this?" A Pinkie asked. A blue light shot across the room, and another Pinkie standing there was suddenly frozen solid. "NEAT!"

~~Everyone else on the island would have been pushed off into the ocean~~

"Jesus fuck!" Barry shouted at the freeze-ray pony. "Put that fucking thing down."

Barry looked at the frozen pony and sighed. "This is going to be a real fucking mess when she de-thaws."

Another Pinkie stuck her hoof into . . . something . . . and gave it a curious lick. She turned a number of interesting colors, then burped fire, neatly melting the frozen Pinkie, who seemed none the worse for wear.

"Oo, that looked like fun!"

"Can I try?"

And now there were several Pinkies lining up to be frozen and/or gain momentary fire breathing abilities.

"Wait! No!" Barry shouted trying to grab the freeze ray. "No freezing and DON'T FUCKING EAT ANYTHING!"

Good thing the dinosaur DNA transmorgrifier serum was locked up.

That was, indeed, an extremely good thing.

"But I'm huuuuuuuungrrrrrrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyy," one of the Pinkies whined, and threw herself to the floor in a fit of pique.

"Hey," said a Pinkie at the other end of the warehouse. "Check out this hat!"

"Awww," said another Pinkie. "Let me try it on!"

"Nooo, me!"

"Me!"

A Pinkie stepped onto the teleporter and promptly vanished. Well. At least that was one pony down, anyway.

"OH SHIT!"

Barry leaped to the console and started the retrieval codes before the Pony ended up in his basement back home.

"And stop! Stop! Everypony just fucking stop!"

...

"Did I just say everypony?"

"NEVERRRRRRRRRRRR!" cried a Pinkie, who had just burst head and neck out of a pile of oreos that very clearly was not large enough to hide the rest of her pony body. Then she sank slowly back into them until she was only visible from her eyes up.

The other Pinkies didn't appear to have paid any attention to him at all. Lasers of a variety of colors were now zapping across the room, causing hilarious havok as they managed to primarily only hit other ponies.

Barry looked at the bowl and scowled.

"How did you get in there?" Barry asked angrily. "I know that bowl doesn't have extra-dimensional capabilities. AND STOP FIRING THE FUCKING LASERS!"

The Pinkies all finally stopped, pausing exactly where they were and blinking innocently -- and audibly -- at him.

"We're just trying to have fun," one of them said. "You don't have to get all mad."

"Are we gonna have a funny face contest?" another asked. "Because I can do this!"

How can one person hear multiple ponies blink?

Barry didn't want to know.

"You're going to blow this fucking place up!" Barry shouted. "Everypony... BODY! EVERYBODY GET THE FUCK OUT!"

There was a Pinkie standing next to him, mimicking his every move. A few of the other Pinkies snickered.

Was she getting the throbbing vein on Barry's forehead? Because it was totally there.

"GET. OUT."

Not in that icon, no.

"Geez," one of the Pinkies said. "You're no fun at all."

And they all paraded prissily back out of the warehouse. Probably all of them.

He didn't have any shrink- or invisibling rays, did he?

He did but he wasn't sharing Pinkie!

"They better not have eaten all my Oreos," he grumbled.

Rapunzel had come to the mainland to get cupcakes -- it was...kind of an important day, and she didn't feel like making them herself -- and with a little bit of extra time to kill before the ferry, she decided to veer off to see if she could find that warehouse that Barry hung out in.

It didn't take her long -- well, it sort of did, but only because Rapunzel found a bunch of pigeons and had to talk to them for awhile. But eventually she wandered through the door on bare little feet and wondered aloud, "What are you listening to?"

"Well until recently it was a bunch of pink ponies who were trying to blow me up," Barry said rubbing his forehead with a sigh. "The noise you hear is text notifications from my friend Roxie talking about how sexy my friend Jeremy is even though he has powder burns on his ass."

Walt Disney is probably rolling over in his grave that Rapunzel has made friends with Barry.

"How's it going, 'Punzel?"

"Pretty good," Rapunzel said, eyes wide. She spent a lot of time that way, around Barry, for some reason. "What's a -- no, never mind." She probably didn't need to know how powder could burn someone.

"What's that?" she asked instead, looking interestedly at his blowtorch. She had cupcakes to share, mind, but she'd get to them in a minute.

"A test for some fabric I've been working on," Barry said lighting the torch and attempting to burn the fabric. "I'm trying to build a safer outfit for someone who... has a future in law enforcement."

Or superhero. Same line of business.

"It can withstand being punctured and burned. Have to see how far it can go before the person wearing it can get fucking perforated. What brings you to my neck of the woods?"

Rapunzel leaned in curiously to watch the blowtorching, fascinated. "Oooooooooh. So it's like armor? Um, and I'm just visiting. Came to the island to get cupcakes, figured I'd see if you were in. Want one?"

"Kind of like armor," Barry agreed. "But more lightweight. And I'll never say no to a fucking cupcake. What's the occasion? Haunted house stealing all the good food?"

Rapunzel hesitated for a moment, feeling kind of silly about the whole thing. "You can't laugh at me," she said, holding out the box of assorted cupcakes that she'd gotten. "If I tell you the reason."

"Shit, what if it's really funny?" Barry teased. "Kidding. Only fucking kidding. What's the reason?"

"It's kind of my birthday," Rapunzel said, all but actually scuffing her toe. "Kind of."

Seriously, she'd never had a kind of birthday before. It was kind of weird.

"What? Shit. Really?" Barry said looking at Rapunzel. "And you had to get your own cupcakes? That's not fucking right. Happy Birthday!"

"Oh, psh," Rapunzel said, waving a hand. "I usually make them for myself. But thanks! Technically it was my birthday...um, like, the first day we were here, actually? It was the day before my birthday when I left Corona, but...time's different here, I guess."

It kind of made her head hurt, if she thought about it too long.

"Well still, a birthday is still a birthday," Barry said with a grin and then turning to his console to start typing in some commands. "Don't let the change in time freak you out. I was lucky enough for my dimension to be only a few milliseconds off from this one. But hey, if the date says it's your birthday it's your fucking birthday. Which means one thing."

He gave Rapunzel a grin over his shoulder.

"Somebody is getting a present."

Rapunzel blinked at him for a moment, then tilted her head, blushing a little. "...oh my gosh, you don't have to get me a present, Barry."

She'd only ever gotten birthday presents from Mother, before, and that was usually under duress.

"Well I was thinking about getting you something anyway," Barry said pressing a couple more buttons. There was a slight hum from the teleporter and a slight shimmer of energy appeared. When it disappeared there were a pair of shoes (http://www.topfanshoes.com/pic/more/Womens-Converse-All-Star-Chuck-Taylor-Pink-Classic-Sneakers-Low---1-4910-1.jpg) sitting on the base along with a set of white socks with pink pom-poms (http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_Wp-InmbaGP0/THPA1zssHrI/AAAAAAAAJik/DGj6kCBzT1s/s320/dri-fit-womens-pom-pom-bm.jpg).

"I thought you might need some footwear on this island eventually. Can't have you running away from fucking zombies all fucking bare-footed."

"Shoes!" Rapunzel squealed, hurrying over to the shoes to examine them.

(They were pink! And there were pom-poms on the socks! She might be in love.)

She hesitated with her hand out to touch them, looking at Barry for confirmation. "They're real? You just...made them appear like that?"

Not only were they pink but they also had a micro GPS tracking device and a few other sensors inserted into them. Not because Barry was a stalker but he tended to do this to all his friends eventually and this being Fandom you never knew when it could come in handy.

So no stalkery. Really! Barry wasn't creepy at all!

Barry chuckled at Rapunzel's reaction.. "I actually bought them earlier this week after the pony's class when I saw you weren't wearing shoes yet. They were in my room so I just teleported them over here."

"I've never needed to wear shoes before," Rapunzel said, gingerly picking one up between her fingers and peering at it from all sides. "'Cause, y'know, I didn't ever go outside, but -- thank you, Barry!"

He was going to have to deal with hugs now. Sorry. That's what happens when you make Rapunzel happy.

Aww. Was that Barry blushing furiously as he awkwardly accepted a hug? Why yes it was!

"Um. Sure. No problem. You're welcome. Uh... Happy Birthday!"

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

The Not-So-Abandoned Warehouse - Saturday Afternoon

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject