badassprodigy | The Warehouse: Sunday Evening

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The Warehouse: Sunday Evening

Barry was still at work trying to find signs of what was causing the weekend to be so fucked up.

And of course that's when music began to swell in the warehouse while Barry brought up his phone... and sang.

Computers are better than people
Siri, don't you think that's true?

And the crazy thing? Siri sang back.

Yes, Barry. People are stupid and slow and would eat their own poo
Every one of them is inefficient except you.

But people are kinder than computers.
Siri, don't you think I'm riiiiiiiight?

That's once again true,
for all except you.

You got me, let's call it a night.

Good night, Barry.

Don't let the software bugs biiiiiiiite.

Barry let out a long sign. "One more thing I have to fucking research," he muttered to himself.

[OOC: Corrupted Frozen song used with permission. Open for SP. Very SP.]

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Albus was going to just go back to the dormitory and possibly bang his head against something heavy after he was done at the shop, but Anders' phone beeped at him again.

REMEMBER TO ASK BARRY ABT KARL'S PORTAL. (Nugfucker.)

"What's a nug and why are you so obsessed with sexual congress with them?" Albus had asked the device, but it gave no answer but an address. Albus supposed there was nothing to do but to go to it.

"Are you Barry?" he asked, glancing around the large space filled with very Mugglish ... gadgets. "I'm supposed to ask you about a portal for Karl."

[OOC: SP is win.]

Barry turned around to look at Not-Anders and sighed. "All right. And who are you this fine weekend?" Barry asked. "Hopefully you'll remember that I've gotten no where when you change back to normal."

"I'm Albus Dumbledore," Albus answered. Barry's comments hadn't exactly helped his confusion. "Which is also who I was before the weekend, and hopefully who I'll be Monday."

"Albums Dumledore," Barry repeated. "Well, Albus, you've come to Fandom during one of our weird weekends. Or weeks. Won't know until Monday which one it is yet. We're usually located over here near the United States. Are you familiar with that at all?"

"I'm English, not mentally deficient," Albus answered acidly -- mainly because he was too confused and upset to even want to be polite. "Yes, I know what the United States are. Not that I understand how I got to them."

"I didn't think you were fucking deficient," Barry clarified. "This island is a interdimensional nexus that taps into multiple realities. I wasn't sure if you were from earth or some other dimension that for some fucking reason also has a British accent."

....

"I only understood about half the words in that sentence, but I am definitely from Earth." That felt important to establish. "So it's some type of magic that brought me here?"

"Probably. Because I can't figure out for the life of me why it's happening," Barry said with a sigh. "And when it comes to science I'm not what you call a slouch."

"I'm a wizard," Albus said, so tired of all this he figured he might as well say it bluntly. He could always make Barry forget the conversation if it went badly. "I get the best marks in my year. And this isn't like any magic I know, either."

"Well it's nice to know I'm not the only one who gets frustrated by this shit," Barry said with a sigh. "Well I'm sorry I can't help you with what's going on here but my girlfriend has some excellent tea here. Would you like a mug?"

Edited 2014-11-10 03:22 (UTC)

"Sure," Albus said in a long sigh. "When in doubt, there's always tea. Maybe it'll help me figure out a way out of this mess."

Edited 2014-11-10 03:30 (UTC)

"I'm guessing this mess started with you waking up yesterday in a room you never saw, correct?" Barry asked as he went to heat up some water. "Do you remember where you were before that?"

"Correct. And I went to bed in the prefect room at Gryffindor Tower at Hogwarts," Albus said precisely. "It's a bit outside Hogsmeade, in Scotland."

Scott walked into the warehouse and looked around. "Yeah, okay, I could work with this. Is this where you all hang? And do mad scientist blow up the world shit? Yeah, cool. Like, not 'volcano lair' cool, but eh, whatever."

Barry let out a long sigh. Clearly this wasn't Joker because there were no crutches. And so...

"Volcano lairs usually have magma which makes it a pain in the ass when you try to calibrate equipment that's sensitive to temperature," Barry answered. "So who the hell are you?"

"Scott. Don't worry, I'm cool. My... I know people who do this kind of stuff. People I hate, and I am sooo not talking to, but not 'cause of the..." He waved a hand in the air vaguely. "You know, whatever."

He shrugged. "Calibrate, schmalibrate. Volcanoes are cool, 'cause then if some party crasher comes by, you can open the floor and psheeeeeeeeeeeew, sploosh, aaaagh!" The sound effects were accompanied by appropriate hand gestures. "I mean, cool, right?"

"Riiiiight," Barry said carefully. "And if you don't have magma you can throw them in a pool of piranhas."

"Psssht." Scott waved a hand dismissively. "Yeah, I guess. It gets all grody, though. I mean, I guess it's okay, so long as you don't have an unnecessarily slow dipping mechanism. Again, trap door in the floor. Pow! Done. Right? Not this whole 'ohhhhh, I'll close the door and not watch their final demise, because I'm an idiot and this makes perfect sense to me and I'd rather think up overly elaborate easy-to-escape death scenes for my archnemesis instead of paying any attention to the flesh-and-blood fruit of my loins,' DAD!"

Scott cleared his throat and gave Barry a weak smile. "I'm sorry, where were we? I think we were talking about your plot to take over the world and how I can actually frigging be useful if you let me."

It was a very bedraggled Kathy who ended up knocking on Barry's warehouse door with a very worried puppy whining at her feet. Her hair was a mess, her clothes were all rucked about and filthy, she had several cuts and bruises, and her arm was hanging at her side in a fairly unnatural way.

In short, it looked like she'd been in the middle of a localized hurricane, dislocated her shoulder against a tree, and then had rocks thrown at her, some of which connected.

Which made sense, because that's what had happened.

She knew she needed to see a doctor, but no one had been at the clinic when she'd stumbled out of the park and her mind threw out Barry as the next best thing. Maybe he'd have some kind of scientifically magic healing-mabob. Maybe he'd have a goddamned aspirin. Maybe he'd let her crash on a couch so she wouldn't have to face her roommate for a little while.

Any one of those things would be delightful. For now, though, she was just going to lean against the door and kind of...knock with her face. Yeah. That sounded good.

"Holy fucking shit!" Barry said looking at Kathy. "What truck ran you over?"

"His name was Chase?" Kathy mumbled. "If you see someone who looks like Flick, don't engage. He has fucking magic. Teleports. Teke. Makes storms. Fire. Throws fucking rocks."

Yep, there was no curseword filter in effect currently. Kathy hurt.

"D'you know how hard it is to fight in gale-force wind? S'hard."

Barry groaned and pointed at the lab table. "Jesus. Sit down. I'll get the med scanner."

"Minako, sit," she said, hoping the puppy would listen and not really able to bring herself to care overmuch. All of her energy was going towards getting onto the table with some semblance of dignity, rather than just collapsing on it like she wanted to. The thought of just sleeping for a week was glorious.

"Think I...separated my shoulder. Maybe dislocated. Hurts, but definitely isn't broken. Most of my contusions are pretty minor. Don't think I got burned by the fire." Her clothes were a little singed, but the skin beneath them was unharmed. "Should probably wash the cuts. The rocks weren't exactly spotless. Lots of dirt flying around, too. Got whipped with flying branches and stuff. Kinda stings, don't think it broke skin..."

Don't mind her, Barry. She was babbling. It helped keep her mind off of how much she hurt as she hoisted herself up on the table.

Barry pulled out his scanner and started at the shoulder and went on from there. "Dislocated shoulder. Cracked rib. You're lucky it wasn't worse than that," he commented. "We'll have to pop your shoulder back in place. The cracked rib will heal on it's own. Possibly even better than what I have given your speed and how it relates to your metabolism."

"Have we figured out how that works yet?" Kathy asked, because that was better than whining about how she'd been hoping her could just wave some kind of science wand around and fix her.

She'd thought about trying to find Anders or Rapunzel, but there was no way she was going to look for people who might not be themselves this weekend. Look what had happened when she hadn't even gone looking.

"Cracked rib explains why it hurts to breathe. I just kinda assumed it was pain radiating from my shoulder."

"Haven't figured out anything about your powers yet. Still letting the computer do it's analysis before I jump in," Barry said checking Kathy's pupils and dilation. "Okay. Let's pomp the shoulder back in place. I'm going to do a nerve block so you don't feel anything. Turn around."

Her pupils dilated normally which was a good sign. Her daze was likely a combination of pain and exhaustion, rather than a concussion.

"Nerve block, huh?" Kathy was already slowly turning around. "That might be the nicest thing you ever said to me."

Beat.

"I need distance weapons that aren't goddamn ribbons. In case I ever get into a fight in a wind tunnel or something. I'mma write that down when my arm feels better."

"Could have told you that," Barry said locating the Axillary nerve cluster on Kathy's back. "In fact I did tell you that. Hey, I'm doing this nerve block manually so you're going to feel a sharp poke. That's going to block the pain in your shoulder and arm for about an hour. Okay? Let me know when you are ready."

Nobody liked an 'I told you so', Barry!

Kathy lazily waved her uninjured hand at him. "Whenever you are. I am so ready for the throbbing to stop." She paused. "Will it stop the rib pain, too? Because I could so be down for that."

She was absolutely raiding Barry's first aid kit when she had a minute. He had to have some kind of super-Advil, right?

"Nope. Now on the count of three... two. one."

Barry did a sharp jab to the Axillary nerve cluster with his pointer and middle finger.

"That should numb out your shoulder. I've got some ibuprofen with 800 milligrams for your rib. Turn around and we'll get your shoulder back in place."

Kathy flinched at 'one', then sagged in relief a moment later when blessed, blessed numbness spread from her shoulder down her arm.

"God that feels a million times better." Yeah, she could definitely feel the pain from her rib now, but without the constant throb of her shoulder it didn't feel as bad.

"I'd say 'Wait till you see the other guy,' but he got off pretty much unscathed. Asshole."

"Hmm. Let's get your shoulder popped in before we talk about the asshole in the park," Barry said reaching out to position his hands on Kathy's shoulder. "You'll feel this but it won't be as painful without the nerve block. Ready?"

Barry really didn't wait for an answer. He moved to pop it back in.

Kathy gave a small, surprised yip--even without pain, it just felt weird to feel her shoulder slide back into its socket. Once it was there, she rotated her arm, just to make sure it had settled in properly. "No additional damage to the joint, right? No tearing of ligaments or anything?"

"Nope, nothing torn." Barry replied as he headed to his med kit to get the ibuprofen. "I'd take a few days off from crimefighting just to let it heal up a bit though."

He pulled the bottle of ibuprofen from the kit and grabbed a water bottle from the fridge. "Now. Can I tell you something without getting yelled at?"

"Go for it," Kathy said, swallowing down the pill and several gulps of water. "I mean I kinda owe you one, don't I? For patching me up like this? Not that I'm in much of a mood to yell as it is."

"From what you were telling me about this Chase guy? You were lucky," Barry said sitting down on a lab table. "I know you have powers. But if one rock hit you in the right place we could be fucking burying you instead of me treating you. You understand that right?"

"I know," Kathy said softly. "It's not like I meant to duke it out with my roommate's doppelganger--"

Exactly. Though she certainly hadn't backed off any, once he's started going all megalomaniacal on her.

"He was talking about taking over the island. That kind of behavior is technically under my purview."

"Yeah, well that shit happens all the time around here, doesn't it?" Barry said rolling his eyes. "But we usually get a bunch of people pulled in to take care of this crap, right?"

"Because I had time to go around and check who's still themselves?" Kathy grumbled before bowing her head. Barry was serious, this wasn't the time for snark. "Sorry. It just all happened really fast. One minute, he was offering to be friends, the next he was plotting to take over as mayor and threatening to shut Minako up permanently because she kept barking at him. It's not like the time I got my ass handed to me by the creepy monster on the warehouse roof. This time everything seemed totally normal and then got super-creepy wicked fast."

"And you tried to take him on yourself? Or did you consider retreating at all. We talked yesterday. You knew I was normal, right? We listened to the radio and knew people who was or wasn't out of their fucking minds, right" Barry said crossing his arms. His tone wasn't angry. Just... lecturey.

"In fairness, I didn't listen to radio today. I slept through it and then Minako needed walkies before I could boot up the podcast." And that had turned into finding Chase in the park and one thing led to another led to her getting wrecked in the park.

"Okay, so it went down like this. He was normal, he turned creepy, I told him we weren't going to let him take over the island, he telekinetically threw rocks at me, I dodged and kicked him, then he teleported away and suddenly there's a mini-hurricane all around me and he's flinging lightning bolts and it's all I can do to keep standing, never mind run away anywhere. Then he flung Minako, I dove and caught her, slammed into a tree, and then the storm was gone because he was throwing rocks again."

And her ability to dodge had been greatly impeded by her dislocated shoulder.

"I was planning to bail as soon as I could walk again. He set the fire, I jumped over it, and tried to make my getaway. There wasn't a whole lot of time for calling the cavalry. There wasn't much time for anything."

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The Warehouse: Sunday Evening

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