This Barry. If you're calling about that mess of a portal at the end of the hallway that looks like a glowing woman's you-know-what, I'm fucking working on it, okay? Seriously, fuck off. Otherwise leave a message.
At some point after all the dates were over, Barry and this dusty-ass voicemail would be getting a text:
I am so sorry, but you might need to break out the hand soap. Now that it's over, I have definitely decided to leave you for some old dude with tattoos and a bard that probably has a disturbing amount of puffy pants in his closet.
And, god, she hoped he would know she was totally joking, but, clearly, this was a risk she was willing to take.
Yes, please. Unless you've got some ideas on how to work that into the sad and pathetic existence you must now lead, in which case, that's actually really impressive and maybe its best u keep them.
Actually it was about $1,000 dollars worth of cat toys but I didn’t want
to look pathetic.
And I’ve decided to skip the pathetic route. I’m going full blown playboy.
My life will be starlets and champagne. At night I’ll become a fucking
vigilante beating up bards and men with tattoos.
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and this dusty-ass voicemailwould be getting a text:I am so sorry, but you might need to break out the hand soap. Now that it's over, I have definitely decided to leave you for some old dude with tattoos and a bard that probably has a disturbing amount of puffy pants in his closet.
And, god, she hoped he would know she was totally joking, but, clearly, this was a risk she was willing to take.
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Well. We had a good run. Do you want the $85 worth of cat toys I bought for Pancakes that I have in stock?
Yes, Barry could take a joke.
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Actually it was about $1,000 dollars worth of cat toys but I didn’t want to look pathetic.
And I’ve decided to skip the pathetic route. I’m going full blown playboy. My life will be starlets and champagne. At night I’ll become a fucking vigilante beating up bards and men with tattoos.