Voicemail

[badassprodigy]

This Barry. If you're calling about that mess of a portal at the end of the hallway that looks like a glowing woman's you-know-what, I'm fucking working on it, okay? Seriously, fuck off. Otherwise leave a message.

Comments

[somethingwithturquoise]

Yes, please. Unless you've got some ideas on how to work that into the sad and pathetic existence you must now lead, in which case, that's actually really impressive and maybe its best u keep them.

[badassprodigy]

Actually it was about $1,000 dollars worth of cat toys but I didn’t want to look pathetic.

And I’ve decided to skip the pathetic route. I’m going full blown playboy. My life will be starlets and champagne. At night I’ll become a fucking vigilante beating up bards and men with tattoos.