badassprodigy | The Not-So-Abandoned Warehouse

Barry had skipped over the fireworks last night to test the durability of his recently developed fabric. The testing was soon interrupted by the chirp of his tablet letting him know that he had a text from back home.

Roxie: Your BFF is a complete idiot.
Barry: Shit. Is that's supposed to be news?
Roxie: No shit. Guess what he did?
Barry: Ass rocket?
Roxie: Ass rocket. Except instead of shooting out of his ass it blew up.
Barry: Is he okay?
Roxie: He's fine. Sore but fine. Sara's boy toy on the other hand jumped backwards and cracked his skull on the air conditioner when he fell off the porch.

Barry spent the next two minutes laughing hysterically before replying.

Barry: Sounds like the best fourth of July ever.
Roxie: My idiot boyfriend has powder burns over his ass. I blame you for not being here to stop him.
Barry: I warned him! It's his own fucking fault.
Roxie: Good thing he's good in the sack.
Barry: I do not want to know this.

Barry sighed as Roxie began to elaborate Jeremy's sexual prowess in purple prose detail. He put his tablet to the side and let her go on and on as he started using a blowtorch on his new invention.

[Open? Open. Subject to slow play.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Barry twisted around at the sound of another voice and boggled at the sight of another pony.

"Wait. Holy shit, there's two of you?" He inquired before immediately getting his head straight. "For fuck's sake, don't touch anything!"

It's totally going to end up in explosions.

"Pfft," said the Pinkie next to him. "At least."

As though to prove her point, a popping sound came from the ceiling where a third Pinkie was making her way using suction cups. "This place is so big!" this Pinkie said.

"I think touching things would be more fun," said the second Pinkie. "Like the buttons. I like buttons!"

Barry looked up at the ceiling in shock. "Get the fuck off of there!"

And then registered what the second Pinkie had said. "And no fucking buttons! Or switches!"

Barry grabbed his console and started to initiate security protocols to shut down all radioactive or explosive devices in the warehouse.

Really, he probably should have started with that.

"Who ya talking to?" a fourth Pinkie asked, picking up his tablet. ". . . Oh." She slowly put the tablet back down where she found it and backed away. There were some things that were not for a pony clone to know.

Give Barry a break! He wasn't expecting Pinkie Madrox.

"Hey! That's personal!" Barry shouted at the fourth pony as he continued to put in his security code. "No touching fucking anything!"

~~Oh sure, make me sad that there's no Jamie on the island for this.~~

"Not even this?" A Pinkie asked. A blue light shot across the room, and another Pinkie standing there was suddenly frozen solid. "NEAT!"

~~Everyone else on the island would have been pushed off into the ocean~~

"Jesus fuck!" Barry shouted at the freeze-ray pony. "Put that fucking thing down."

Barry looked at the frozen pony and sighed. "This is going to be a real fucking mess when she de-thaws."

Another Pinkie stuck her hoof into . . . something . . . and gave it a curious lick. She turned a number of interesting colors, then burped fire, neatly melting the frozen Pinkie, who seemed none the worse for wear.

"Oo, that looked like fun!"

"Can I try?"

And now there were several Pinkies lining up to be frozen and/or gain momentary fire breathing abilities.

"Wait! No!" Barry shouted trying to grab the freeze ray. "No freezing and DON'T FUCKING EAT ANYTHING!"

Good thing the dinosaur DNA transmorgrifier serum was locked up.

That was, indeed, an extremely good thing.

"But I'm huuuuuuuungrrrrrrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyy," one of the Pinkies whined, and threw herself to the floor in a fit of pique.

"Hey," said a Pinkie at the other end of the warehouse. "Check out this hat!"

"Awww," said another Pinkie. "Let me try it on!"

"Nooo, me!"

"Me!"

A Pinkie stepped onto the teleporter and promptly vanished. Well. At least that was one pony down, anyway.

"OH SHIT!"

Barry leaped to the console and started the retrieval codes before the Pony ended up in his basement back home.

"And stop! Stop! Everypony just fucking stop!"

...

"Did I just say everypony?"

"NEVERRRRRRRRRRRR!" cried a Pinkie, who had just burst head and neck out of a pile of oreos that very clearly was not large enough to hide the rest of her pony body. Then she sank slowly back into them until she was only visible from her eyes up.

The other Pinkies didn't appear to have paid any attention to him at all. Lasers of a variety of colors were now zapping across the room, causing hilarious havok as they managed to primarily only hit other ponies.

Barry looked at the bowl and scowled.

"How did you get in there?" Barry asked angrily. "I know that bowl doesn't have extra-dimensional capabilities. AND STOP FIRING THE FUCKING LASERS!"

The Pinkies all finally stopped, pausing exactly where they were and blinking innocently -- and audibly -- at him.

"We're just trying to have fun," one of them said. "You don't have to get all mad."

"Are we gonna have a funny face contest?" another asked. "Because I can do this!"

How can one person hear multiple ponies blink?

Barry didn't want to know.

"You're going to blow this fucking place up!" Barry shouted. "Everypony... BODY! EVERYBODY GET THE FUCK OUT!"

There was a Pinkie standing next to him, mimicking his every move. A few of the other Pinkies snickered.

Was she getting the throbbing vein on Barry's forehead? Because it was totally there.

"GET. OUT."

Not in that icon, no.

"Geez," one of the Pinkies said. "You're no fun at all."

And they all paraded prissily back out of the warehouse. Probably all of them.

He didn't have any shrink- or invisibling rays, did he?

He did but he wasn't sharing Pinkie!

"They better not have eaten all my Oreos," he grumbled.

The Not-So-Abandoned Warehouse - Saturday Afternoon

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