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Barry had skipped over the fireworks last night to test the durability of his recently developed fabric. The testing was soon interrupted by the chirp of his tablet letting him know that he had a text from back home.
Roxie: Your BFF is a complete idiot.
Barry: Shit. Is that's supposed to be news?
Roxie: No shit. Guess what he did?
Barry: Ass rocket?
Roxie: Ass rocket. Except instead of shooting out of his ass it blew up.
Barry: Is he okay?
Roxie: He's fine. Sore but fine. Sara's boy toy on the other hand jumped backwards and cracked his skull on the air conditioner when he fell off the porch.
Barry spent the next two minutes laughing hysterically before replying.
Barry: Sounds like the best fourth of July ever.
Roxie: My idiot boyfriend has powder burns over his ass. I blame you for not being here to stop him.
Barry: I warned him! It's his own fucking fault.
Roxie: Good thing he's good in the sack.
Barry: I do not want to know this.
Barry sighed as Roxie began to elaborate Jeremy's sexual prowess in purple prose detail. He put his tablet to the side and let her go on and on as he started using a blowtorch on his new invention.
[Open? Open. Subject to slow play.]
Roxie: Your BFF is a complete idiot.
Barry: Shit. Is that's supposed to be news?
Roxie: No shit. Guess what he did?
Barry: Ass rocket?
Roxie: Ass rocket. Except instead of shooting out of his ass it blew up.
Barry: Is he okay?
Roxie: He's fine. Sore but fine. Sara's boy toy on the other hand jumped backwards and cracked his skull on the air conditioner when he fell off the porch.
Barry spent the next two minutes laughing hysterically before replying.
Barry: Sounds like the best fourth of July ever.
Roxie: My idiot boyfriend has powder burns over his ass. I blame you for not being here to stop him.
Barry: I warned him! It's his own fucking fault.
Roxie: Good thing he's good in the sack.
Barry: I do not want to know this.
Barry sighed as Roxie began to elaborate Jeremy's sexual prowess in purple prose detail. He put his tablet to the side and let her go on and on as he started using a blowtorch on his new invention.
[Open? Open. Subject to slow play.]
no subject
Date: 2014-07-06 04:10 am (UTC)"But I'm huuuuuuuungrrrrrrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyy," one of the Pinkies whined, and threw herself to the floor in a fit of pique.
"Hey," said a Pinkie at the other end of the warehouse. "Check out this hat!"
"Awww," said another Pinkie. "Let me try it on!"
"Nooo, me!"
"Me!"
A Pinkie stepped onto the teleporter and promptly vanished. Well. At least that was one pony down, anyway.
no subject
Date: 2014-07-06 04:16 am (UTC)Barry leaped to the console and started the retrieval codes before the Pony ended up in his basement back home.
"And stop! Stop! Everypony just fucking stop!"
...
"Did I just say everypony?"
no subject
Date: 2014-07-06 04:19 am (UTC)The other Pinkies didn't appear to have paid any attention to him at all. Lasers of a variety of colors were now zapping across the room, causing hilarious havok as they managed to primarily only hit other ponies.
no subject
Date: 2014-07-06 04:24 am (UTC)"How did you get in there?" Barry asked angrily. "I know that bowl doesn't have extra-dimensional capabilities. AND STOP FIRING THE FUCKING LASERS!"
no subject
Date: 2014-07-06 04:27 am (UTC)"We're just trying to have fun," one of them said. "You don't have to get all mad."
"Are we gonna have a funny face contest?" another asked. "Because I can do this!"
no subject
Date: 2014-07-06 04:30 am (UTC)Barry didn't want to know.
"You're going to blow this fucking place up!" Barry shouted. "Everypony... BODY! EVERYBODY GET THE FUCK OUT!"
no subject
Date: 2014-07-06 04:32 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-07-06 04:43 am (UTC)"GET. OUT."
no subject
Date: 2014-07-06 04:50 am (UTC)"Geez," one of the Pinkies said. "You're no fun at all."
And they all paraded prissily back out of the warehouse. Probably all of them.
He didn't have any shrink- or invisibling rays, did he?
no subject
Date: 2014-07-06 04:57 am (UTC)"They better not have eaten all my Oreos," he grumbled.