badassprodigy | The Not-so-abandoned Warehouse: Monday

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The Not-so-abandoned Warehouse: Monday

Barry was feeling pretty relaxed today.

Which of course meant he was doing three things at once. The first two seemed to involve headgear while the third was the continued work on the gremlin trap.

And in the middle of it all he called out to his cell phone and called an old friend from home.

"Call Jeremy," he said over his shoulder as he continued to tighten down a couple of the cage bars.

A few seconds later the call was connected and the friendly face of Jeremy Ramirez appeared. "Dude? What the fuck? I was about to get level up on ~~meta for~~ Assassin's Creed!"

"Well excuse the fuck out of me," Barry replied in greeting. "I just thought maybe I'd see how my best friend is doing but if you're going to be that way then fuck off."

"Whatever dude. And thanks for getting me in deep shit with Roxie."

"Roxie?" Barry said looking up from his work. "What the fuck did I do with her?"

"Ass rocket."

"You did that to yourself, asshole," Barry shot back. "Don't blame me for the powder burns on your ass."

"Yeah, well we're good now but no thanks to you," Jeremy muttered. "Only I'm not allowed near fireworks anymore."

"It's for your own fucking good," Barry said rolling his eyes. "How are things back home?"

"Good," Jeremy said. "Just spending the summer playing video games and working shifts at Subway. I see Roxie and Sara about every day. And fucking Nelson."

"Hmm," Barry said suddenly returning to his work. "So they're still seeing each other."

"Yeah and he's a total fucking tool," Jeremy groaned. "No fucking sense of humor whatsoever."

"Well it is what it is," Barry said with a shrug. "If Sara can't see that then it's her own problem."

Jeremy gave his friend a long look over the monitor. "All right dude. Spill it."

"Spill what?" Barry said looking over his shoulder.

"You usually have about twenty different things to say about Nelson and none of them good and usually with a good amount of swear words. What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"Nothing," Barry said. "Why the fuck should I care who Sara is dating?"

"You always care who Sara is dating," Jeremy countered. "You gave the last guy leprosy for fucks sake."

"Hey I fucking cured him!" Barry shouted defensively.

"After I fucking lectured you for a fucking day," Jeremy shot back. "What gives? You've been obsessed with Sara since fucking middle school."

"Whatever," Barry growled. "I've just fucking moved on, okay?"

"Oh, yeah? With who?" Jeremy said now with a leering grin.

"With no one, fuck off!"

"Is it one of the girls you've been telling me about?"

"We're all just friends," Barry said firmly.

"Yeah, like you and Sara were just friends," Jeremy shot back sarcastically. "Did you give another class food poisoning just so you could hang out with any of them?"

"Fuck you! I was eleven when I did that," Barry snarled back. "And as a matter fact we all had a party the other night which included a sleepover. We all had a good time. I didn't poison anyone and I'm not dating anyone so fuck you and fuck off and leave me the fuck alone."

"Oh, yeah!" Jeremy said sticking out his tongue and throwing up his fists of rock. "That's my man! Having a fucking orgy at private school!"

"Oh shut the fuck up," Barry said. "I don't know why I'm fucking talking to you."

"Because I'm your best friend and you love me for calling you on your bullshit," Jeremy said with a smirk. "Hey! You're coming home for my birthday party right? Whole fucking school is going to be there."

"Yeah, sure, I'll make it," Barry muttered.

"Good!" Jeremy grinned. "I'm getting fireworks."

Barry groaned. "You are one dumb motherfucker, you know that?"

"Love you too, bitch," Jeremy replied with the same grin and hung up before Barry could shoot back another insult.

"That idiot is going to fucking blow himself up," Barry grumbled to himself and returned his full attention to his experiments.

[OOC: That got longer than I intended. Open doors and open post.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"Yes, I'm aware how pockets work," Barry said looking up at the ceiling when he finally registered the sports bra. "I have a 350 plus IQ. And I've used them on a regular basis."

Kathy was still in pocket-heaven. Besides, Barry, it was a sports bra, god. People worked out in them all the time.

It was what she wore under her gi, okay?

"Have you ever seen girl pockets?" she asked. "Like, the few we actually get which aren't many at all? Seriously, have you ever seen them?"

"Jesus Christ, Kathy!" Barry shouted. "I just built you a high tech new super suit can we get beyond the fucking pockets please?"

Hands on hips, Kathy looked up at Barry and snapped, "You haven't told me anything about my new gi, so the new pockets are the only thing I have to go on!"

And, screw you, Barry, pockets were totally worth the squee.

"Because you keep going on about the fucking pocket!" Barry snapped back.

As he continued to look at the ceiling.

"It's a new fabric I developed that can stop bullets. Except at point blank range. So don't get cocky."

"Gee, how terrible it must be for you, having someone really excited about something you made!" Kathy argued. Loudly. "I'm so sorry I wasn't excited about the right thing!"

Then she was glancing up at the ceiling, too. "...Is there a laser or something that you have programmed to go off if you're yelling?"

"No. Your... top is open," Barry said looking uncomfortable. "And I think bulletproof fabric is a bit more interesting that fucking pockets."

"My top--?" Kathy asked, looking down. Then gasped and immediately yanked it closed, tying her belt tightly enough that it almost hurt. "It's a sports bra," she mumbled. "It's not even underwear."

Hey look over there! It was a thing! A thing to look at!

"Anyway," she said, determined to return to the previous conversation that didn't involve the word 'bra' in any capacity, "I still think you'd know what a big deal functional pockets are if you wore girl clothes." Pause. "But the bulletproof thing is really awesome, too. Can you give me a demonstration? Without me getting shot at, I mean?"

Barry looked down from the ceiling awkwardly and briefly looked at Kathy's Chest. Then he looked up to look at Kathy's face and flushed a little bit before trying to find somewhere else to look.

Like a computer console! There we go.

"Sure," Barry said walking over to his main console and pulling up some test footage that he had performed on the material. It included him shooting, stabbing and trying to set the clothing on fire. "The fabric itself absorbs high impact kinetic energy and prevents bullets and knives from penetrating it. Also protects you from extreme heat. You'll still feel the impact and the heat but you won't get burned or perforated. Unless the gun is at point blank. Then all bets are off."

"What's the highest caliber gun you tested it on?" Kathy asked, peering intently at the screen. "Wish I had this last night. If you didn't have this one ready for me, I'd be calling up Sparkle for sewing tips before I went out to Baltimore."

"45 caliber," Barry replied. "I figure anything higher than that you know to get the fuck out of the way."

He then went over to the container and pulled out a small receiver that would fit in an ear. "It also has a built in police scanner and communicator. Just to keep an ear out for trouble and be able to call for support if you need it."

"Okay, this might be even cooler than the pockets," Kathy breathed, holding up the receiver to her inspect. "I can call the cops after I snag somebody and be gone before they arrive. I haven't been, because I figure they'll track my cell phone, but this is awesome."

She tucked the receiver into her ear and was pleased discover that it fit well, less intrusive than even an ear. "I assume it's untraceable?"

That just seemed to fit Barry's MO.

"Yeah, we don't want some dick-cheese cop or mega-villain tracking you down or back here," Barry said with a nod. "And of course there's the stealth mode."

He might have a little grin there as he tried to be nonchalant about it.

Kathy was only too happy to play along. After all, this suit was amazing. And had pockets. "Stealth-mode?"

"Tap your ear receiver three times," Barry replied. "You'll be able to blend into any environment like those predator guys from the movies. Only lasts about fifteen minutes before you have to recharge so don't dawdle. And it won't mask sound so you'll need to move quietly."

"Never saw it," Kathy said as she obediently tapped the receiver. "How does it--oh my gosh, I really am invisible!"

She did a dorky little happy dance, which mostly involved wriggling in place while waving her arms. "This is so incredibly cool!" And then, as realization dawned, "I'm invisible to you, too, right?"

Because she wasn't showing off her slick dance moves to anyone, okay? She was supposed to be cool!

"Give that girl a fucking cigar," Barry said rolling his eyes in amusement. "The suit is solar powered so it'll take about an hour in daylight to recharge. Just make sure it's in good sunlight before you go on patrol and you should be good to go."

"Right," Kathy said, tapping her earpiece again to see if that would work to stop the effect. "Because it's utterly crazy to think that you might have rigged up some kind of contact lens that lets you see across the whole spectrum or something."

"Well I do but I don't wear them 24/7," Barry replied. "Plus I hate putting things in my eye. Fucking squicks me out."

"What was that?" Kathy asked. "Was that Barry saying, 'Why, yes, Kathy, that wasn't a stupid question because obviously I could have seen you if I'd wanted to'? You know, I'm pretty sure that's what I heard, yup."

"Get your ears checked because I didn't say that," Barry said waving a finger at Kathy. "And also you should never make assumptions. Never know when that can come back to bite you in the ass."

"Must be the earpiece," Kathy teased. "Maybe you didn't make it right."

"Har-dee-fucking-har-har," Barry said rolling his eyes with amusement again. "You're hilarious. Do you throw out those kind of one-liners when you're taking down the bad guys?"

"Of course not," Kathy said loftily. "I make up speeches about how I'm going to defeat them with the powers of love, justice, and friendship."

She glanced at him to see if he was buying it. If he looked like he was, she'd probably swat him.

Barry let out a little snort of amusement, followed by gagging noises like he was going to throw up.

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