The Not-so-abandoned Warehouse: Friday

[badassprodigy]

Ezra Pound once said that "a man of genius has a right to any mode of expression."

Possibly true. But Ezra hasn't spent a week with Barry Ween when his current mode of expression is being a miserable dick.

Except for some brief appearances at classes this week, Barry had spent the majority of his time in his warehouse and avoiding the public at large. At this point it felt better to dwell in the world of scientific experiments than talking with people. Even calls from back home were met with snippy-ness and more curse words than usual. Enough that it made his friends at home ask what was going on which usually led to Barry quickly ending the call in a terse manner.

Suffice to say: Entering into the warehouse to talk to Barry may be a dangerous situation.

[Open]

Comments

[fly-so-serious.livejournal.com]

Well, talking to Barry was exactly what Joker had in mind when he knocked on the door of the warehouse. "Hey, Bar... I get the feeling that maybe you're having a tough time right now. You could probably use a friendly ear, a shoulder to cry on... You know, friend stuff. Now's not the time to lock yourself away."

[notaweenie.livejournal.com]

Barry let out a long groan and buzzed Joker in.

"You're not going to make me talk about my fucking feelings are you?" he snarked. "Because last I checked I wasn't a seventeen year old girl."

That would be the next genderswap day Barry.

[fly-so-serious.livejournal.com]

"Last I checked, you weren't a misanthropic hermit, either," Joker pointed out. "So, no, I'm not gonna make you talk about it, but..." He looked around and shrugged. "I walked all the fucking way down here in the cold, and I'm not really looking forward to the walk back. Leaving without having a chat? Yeah, not gonna happen. Let's put it this way: The sooner we get this over with, the sooner you can go back to wallowing in your misery. Or hanging out, watching movies, and playing video games."

[notaweenie.livejournal.com]

"Fine," he said with a sigh.

He put down the giant scientific raygun he was working on and turned to look at Joker.

"Are you here to tell me that I've fucked things up? Because I think I already figured that part out."

[fly-so-serious.livejournal.com]

"Wellll... Maybe you haven't fucked them up as much as you think you have. And maybe they're still fixable. Look, how about we start with your version of events, okay? Elsa seems to think you don't even want to be with her, but I seriously doubt that."

[notaweenie.livejournal.com]

"You mean how she told me that when it comes to be queen she's going to have to drop me like a fucking brick when she graduates?" Barry asked crossing her arms and feeling the old familiar rage coming back from their argument. "Yeah. Well. How am I supposed to deal with that right? So I gave her space."

[fly-so-serious.livejournal.com]

Joker facepalmed. "Yes, I'm sure Elsa is all about 'dropping you like a fucking brick'. That's definitely what you want to take away from the argument you had." He sighed, and paused for a moment, and continued on in a softer tone. "Look... I don't know if you know this, but Eleanor and I had a really similar fight. We, uh... It's... I'm gonna go to the Academy, and it's not like she can just come along and hang out, and... It's a mess. It tears me up inside. I don't love her any less. It's just... really hard to come up with a solution.

[notaweenie.livejournal.com]

"Jesus," Barry groaned under his breath. "Are we really having this conversation?"

He let out a long sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose as he impatiently tapped his foot for about five seconds.

"Okay!" he exclaimed. "I get it! We're in fucking high school and nothing is fucking permanent and after graduation most people are going to disappear out of our fucking lives! For the first time I fucking belong someplace where I can be myself and I can't expect everyone to stay together for fucking ever or whatever. Maybe I just felt Elsa and I would be different. I knew it wasn't absolutely fucking possible but it fucking felt that way and I can't figured out of the life of me what to fucking feel even though I fucking know what's fucking right!"

He let out a long breath of air and shook his head.

"Fuck. I don't know. I'm supposed to be a fucking genius and I can't figure this out. What the fuck is this about? I should be able to figure out something for you and Eleanor to work things out but I can't fucking do that either."

He paused and and sat down on a stool shaking his head. "Emotions fucking suck."

[fly-so-serious.livejournal.com]

Joker pulled up another stool for himself to sit on. "Yeah, they kinda do," he agreed. "But they're also incredibly amazing. Blah blah blah our gift and our curse blah blah. It's just part of being human." He gave Barry a weak smile. "So, look, you gotta figure out what you actually want. Elsa's gotta be queen; she's not giving that up... but I think you could probably go with her."

[notaweenie.livejournal.com]

"You think I hadn't thought of that?" Barry said with quiet but somewhat resigned frustration. "I've spent the last week thinking of almost every fucking probability. How long could I be in Arendelle before I blow my stack at some fucking diplomatic puke she needs to have a treaty with? How long would it take me to live there before I start changing history in that world because I need to fucking watch Netflix? What if she has to fucking have a state marriage for the good of her country? I think about this shit all the fucking time. What do I fucking want? I don't even fucking know. That's how fucked I am."

[fly-so-serious.livejournal.com]

"You could call yourself a travelling magician, and spend a few weeks there and a few weeks at home. You could hide Arendelle away from the world inside a cloaking field and turn it into a techno-utopia. You've got options. The great thing is, you don't have to decide alone. You know who would be a great person to talk about it with?" Joker gave him a pointed look.

[notaweenie.livejournal.com]

"Anakin Skywalker?"

Sarcasm. Dripping with sarcasm.

"She doesn't want to talk to me. It's been a week since we left the boat," Barry moaned. "Fuck me. I'm no fucking good at this relationship shit."

He let out another sigh and looked at Joker. "What are you going to do about Eleanor?"

[fly-so-serious.livejournal.com]

"I think she wants to talk," Joker replied softly. "She's just afraid you'll walk away again if she tries."

He took a deep breath and stared at the floor. "I don't know what I'm going to do about Eleanor. She can't come with me -- even if we forged papers for her, she'd still have to take a physical exam. She'd have to hide. And I can't just... I mean, I can, but... I'm going to have to decide between the life I've always wanted ever since I can remember, and the girl I love. Or else, I guess we could become mercenaries and smuggle cargo. I'd be able to use my awesome powers, albeit for evil... We'd at least get to stay together that way."

Joker gave Barry a shrug. "But that's in the future. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. We both know that it's coming, but right now, we're living in the now. If we have to split up, later, at least we'll have this."

[notaweenie.livejournal.com]

"So. I should stop being a dick and live in the now," Barry said grumbling. "Okay. Fine. I can probably do that. I don't get why you and Eleanor can be in your service but I get what you're saying."

He let out a long sigh.

"I don't know. I've felt like this one time before with another girl. To a degree. I guess when I finally heard her mention reality after graduation, I just kind of lost all fucking rational sense."

[fly-so-serious.livejournal.com]

"Well, hey, that's a good thing!" Joker offered. "If she didn't make you all crazy and irrational, it wouldn't be love. The whole, you know, yelling and fighting bit? Not so good." He shrugged. "You're the smartest person in the known multiverse. You'll figure this out."

"And Eleanor? No, she... She just can't. I'm a big fan of the Alliance, and the work our navy does throughout the galaxy, but... can you imagine what would happen if they found out what she can do?"

[iceolatedqueen.livejournal.com]

She had spent over a week now telling herself that she wasn't going to do this, that Elsa wasn't going to be the one to chase Barry down, not when he was the one who kept walking away. But the longer she told herself that, the more it became apparent that whatever was happening now, it was starting to turn into one heck of a holding pattern. And Elsa wasn't so certain, at this point, that Barry was going to be the one to break that pattern.

Besides, she had a bone to pick with him that wasn't entirely about the train wreck that their relationship had become over the course of the spring break.

There was a little flurry of snow in her wake as she approached the warehouse. She was a bundle of nerves, herself. But this had to be done. And if this turned out as badly as all of the other times... Well, at least she'd know where they stood, wouldn't she?

"Open the door, Barry."

[notaweenie.livejournal.com]

Barry hesitated for a few moments before he opened the door. After his talk with Joker he... well his brain felt somehow clearer maybe.

But seeing Elsa as the doors slid open made his feelings go almost everywhere at the same time.

His shoulders slumped a little. He had trouble making eye contact.

He did finally manage to choke out a small "Hey" to her. It wasn't much of a greeting but it was a start.

[iceolatedqueen.livejournal.com]

"Hi," she replied, nodding a little as she stepped inside. He was welcome to keep avoiding her eyes. She wasn't going to try to chase them down or anything. "We need to talk."

Obviously.

"And I need to know that we can get through this talk without me seeing your back, because if you walk away from me again, Barry, I'm not going to come back to find out if you'll walk away a fourth time."

[notaweenie.livejournal.com]

Barry nodded in response, his feet seeming to some point of interest for him. "Okay," he said quietly and uncharacteristically. "I won't walk away this time."

He looked up with a sheepish expression on his face. He opened his mouth to try and say something.

"I-"

He stopped. Frowned and cursed under his breath.

"Fuck me. I so fucking suck at this. I'm sorry."

[iceolatedqueen.livejournal.com]

That 'sorry' was the first actual apology she'd heard from him since this whole mess began. It was... encouraging, actually, and Elsa nodded.

"I don't expect you to be good at it. I don't expect you to be any better at it than I am. But I would appreciate giving actual conversation a try, even if you don't like where it's going." She pulled in a deep breath, held it for a moment, and then exhaled slowly. "But first, we're going to talk about proper manners when approaching somebody's sister."

You were still in shit, Barry! For the record.

[notaweenie.livejournal.com]

Barry's hand immediately connected with his forehead with a very hard smack.

"Fuck. Anna," he groaned. "Yeah. I seriously fucking fail at being an older sib here. I don't know what the fuck happened with me. I know rationally she didn't cause this but I saw her and became a total fucking asshole."

[iceolatedqueen.livejournal.com]

"I'm shocked."

He'd been so charming with Elsa, after all!

"You know you owe her an apology, then. A real one. I expect you to make it count, big sibling or no, because there is no excuse."

And also because if he didn't, Elsa was going to leave him in a block of ice and dump him over the causeway.

[notaweenie.livejournal.com]

Barry frowned and nodded. "Yeah. Okay. I know. I was a giant fucking asshole to her and I'll make it up to her."

He then took a deep breath.

"And I owe you one too. A real one."

He stood there for a moment fumbling for words. "I'm sorry, Elsa. I know I completely blew this up. I never wanted to put you in this situation. I just... "

The words escaped him again and he could feel his frustration level begin to rise. He kicked the ground a bit in frustration.

"Jesus. Okay. Look. Joker was here before you arrived. He told me to figure out what I really wanted. And you know what I really want? I just want you to be happy. And right now I have no fucking clue how to make that happen. All I know is that I feel like a fucking idiot and I don't know how to fix this."

[iceolatedqueen.livejournal.com]

Elsa sighed a little, shook her head, and held out her hand for his. It was still bare. After she'd thrown her gloves at him, she hadn't really had the heart to pull on the bracelets he'd made for her. Apparently being cranky and stubborn was... somehow a push in... a direction of some sort.

"You could start," she offered, "by not taking it upon yourself to fix everything alone. I am right here. And it's my future, too. Don't you think I should get a say?"

[notaweenie.livejournal.com]

"Yes," he relented. He paused for a moment before tentatively taking her hand, not sure if he was really worthy of holding it. "You do. I just-"

He stopped trying to think of the right words.

"For the past week I've been trying to go through all the probabilities of us together. How we could somehow be together and make it work. I'm not going to lie. It's a long shot. But the one thing I know is I want you to be happy. And when I think about how I feel about you I just want to say fuck probabilities and give us a shot and see what happens."

[iceolatedqueen.livejournal.com]

"Right," Elsa agreed, smiling faintly. "Fuck probabilities."

That was going to be the last time she ever used that word. The last one. But right now, it seemed apt, too.

"But, just because we're willing to give it a shot regardless of probabilities doesn't mean we shouldn't talk over the possibilities that have you most worried in the first place," Elsa added. "I'd rather have you willing but somewhat mollified than willing but scared."

She gave him a pointed look and squeezed his hand before adding, "Trust me, Barry, I know all about the urge to run when I'm afraid of facing something that might be bigger than just me alone."

[notaweenie.livejournal.com]

Barry frowned a little. "In the last week I've come up with about thirty thousand distinct possibilities that worry me most," he replied tentatively. "Maybe we should stick to the overall themes of those possibilities."

[iceolatedqueen.livejournal.com]

"... You might actually worry more than I do," Elsa replied. She sounded impressed, really. "Okay. Themes, then. What are some themes that have been worrying you? Maybe addressing those will put some of those possibilities to rest."

[notaweenie.livejournal.com]

"Well the first might be you get angry at me again, swear and then freeze me to death because you weren't wearing your gloves," he half-joked as he reached out to pick up the pair of gloves she left on the cruise. "By the way can I hear you say 'fuck' again? Because I think twice in two weeks is real breakthrough in our relationship."

[iceolatedqueen.livejournal.com]

Elsa was only blushing a little bit as she reached to take the gloves back. She'd be blushing more, but Anna slowly freezing last week meant that she could picture all too easily what it would be like if she had done the same thing to Barry, only while angry.

"You're never going to hear me say that word again," she informed him, pulling the gloves on one at a time. "This was an extenuating circumstance."

[notaweenie.livejournal.com]

Barry might have pouted a little at that. "Well. At least I know you can say it. And that there might be other extenuating circumstances in the future."

He pause a bit before taking a seat on the couch. "I guess my biggest theme... well shit, let's be honest. My biggest fucking fear is sometime down the road you'll have to get married or do something in the name of Arendelle that will break us up somehow."

He took a deep breath.

"I know how much your country means to you. I thought about it and it would be like me giving up research or science. I can't ask you to give that up for me. I know that."

[iceolatedqueen.livejournal.com]

"You can't ask," Elsa agreed, nodding a little. "If you thought you had any right to, I'd have to re-evaluate our relationship. I care for you, Barry. I care for you very much. But an entire kingdom - my kingdom - needs me to put it first."

There was a moment's pause, and then she smiled, wryly.

"That said, I don't think I'll be marrying anybody for the sake of politics. If that's what it takes to make peace, I don't know if that's the sort of peace Arendelle wants or needs."

It was going to be protected by an angry little Ice Queen, after all.

"There are other ways to accomplish good relations with neighboring kingdoms."

[notaweenie.livejournal.com]

"Okay," Barry said with a small look of relief. "And I promise I'll never ask you to put me or anything else I want before Arendelle."

He relaxed a little into the couch and motioned Elsa to join him. "My other fear was that in order to keep up my research I'd have to stay here and we'd have to try and struggle with a long distance relationship."

[iceolatedqueen.livejournal.com]

"Stay here?" She worried at her lip for a moment with her teeth, and then made her way over to sit down. "I know Arendelle isn't nearly as technologically advanced as Fandom, and won't be during either of our lifetimes. Is that the problem? That we're so far behind?"

[notaweenie.livejournal.com]

"What if I come to your kingdom and start advancing science there?" Barry asked. "What if I change the course of history because I showed up on your version of Earth? What would happen to the geo-political structure of the modern age if I muck around with history? I could royally fuck up your world, Elsa."

[iceolatedqueen.livejournal.com]

Elsa just sort of... raised an eyebrow at that.

"You could. Assuming my world is anything like this world at all. We have similarities between us, Barry, but the last time I checked, Arendelle never existed here. In fact, none of the places I know of from home ever existed here. And trolls are only myths, and people aren't born with ice magic. If there's a future to mess up, I don't know what it is, and I don't think you do, either. So... wouldn't the same be true no matter where you go? If you make an appearance somewhere, you're going to change the way things flow. That's... that's something that happens simply because people have lived."

And a pretty flimsy argument, if you asked Elsa.