A warehouse called George - Monday

[badassprodigy]

The island had moved Sunday. All thoughts of catching up with Roxie back home went out the window as Barry spent almost all day trying to determine the method of movement and how the changes occurred.

"Fuck!"

As usual, Barry could find no scientific reason for it. Now the extradimensional pockers? He got that. How it happened to his pockets and added items he had no reason to think he put there (ladder, shovel, etc)?

"Fuck!"

Yep. No scientific reason for that either.

And when he found out that any money he had was turned into bells?

"Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!"

Well that certainly put some roadblocks in replacing some of his equipment.

Finally Monday rolled around and after yet another sleepless night, Barry finally got around to calling Roxie.

She picked up on the first ring and looked absolutely shocked. In the background Barry could see she was at the local Starbucks and was towering over some of the other patrons as she got her beverage. "Barry? Holy Shit! Dude!"

"Good to see you, Roxie. Obviously Jeremy didn't tell you I was back."

Roxie's grin immediately dropped to a scowl. "You called him first? I should have known."

"You were next on my list but I was only covered in bed sheets and couldn't help but tell everyone embarrassing shit about myself. I felt a day to recover and wear clean underwear and clothes in front of you was a higher priority."

That got Roxie's smirk back. "You get back and that island already starts fucking with you, huh?"

"Yeah, well at least I don't think I'm fucking George Michael," Barry joked.

"Not unless you want Jeremy fondling your ball sack," Roxie said with a laugh.

Which ended abruptly as Roxie's eyes darted off-screen. "Listen, Barry, this might not be a good time. Can I call you back?"

"Oh. Sure. I just haven't talked to you in ten years. Just blow me off and I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"Is that who I think it is?"

Barry sighed. He'd recognize that voice anywhere. "Shit."

"Look, give the guy a break-" Roxie started to explain to the person off camera.

The image of the phone shifted directions and suddenly Barry was face to face with someone he had desperately hoped to avoid.

"Hi Sara."

"Barry. What's it been?"

"Five years, seven months and five days."

The flat expression on Sara's face showed she was not amused. "And not a word from you. What a shock."

"Well the last time we talked, you made it pretty clear I was a shithead and you wanted nothing to do with me," Barry said trying not to sound defensive. "Which I don't blame you for at all. Again, I was a complete fuck up and-"

"Whatever."

The image got blurry as the phone was tossed by Sara on... something. Barry heard it clatter and shuffle around a bit before Roxie's face reappeared.

"Barry, I'm sorry. She got here early and I-" Roxie sighed. "Look she's still pretty pissed at you."

"And rightly fucking so," Barry said pinching the bridge of his nose.

"I need to-"

"Go talk to her," Barry said waving Roxie away. "We'll catch up later."

Barry hung up still pinching the bridge of his nose, trying to keep the headache away. Yeah. That went well.

In cases such as these, Barry knew the best remedy. Turning around and getting back to work and desperately trying not to think about it.

[Open]

Comments

[fh_animalcrossing]

There was a totally honest looking fox wandering around outside Barry's warehouse.

It was the apron that did it. That blue was the most trustworthy color.

[badassprodigy]

...

"Yeah. Okay. So much for avoiding weird shit," Barry sighed and went over to the door. "Uh, yeah. Can I help you... Mr. Fox?"

[fh_animalcrossing]

"Name's Redd," Redd said. "Jolly Redd of Jolly Redd's Treasure Trawler, at your service."

[badassprodigy]

"Of course you are."

Okay. This was Fandom. Talking animals were not out of the ordinary. But still...

"Okay, Jolly Redd. Is there a treasure you're specifically looking for because all I got inside is scientific equipment and Ikea furniture."

[fh_animalcrossing]

"Well then, you're in luck!" Redd said, a little exclamation point appearing over his head. "Because I just happen to be in the business of selling furniture! And rare artworks, of course."

[badassprodigy]

"Yeah. Okay."

Barry heard what Redd was saying but right now he was going to try and poke at the floating exclamation point with his finger.

"So are we talking about real furniture and nothing I have to put together with an allen wrench?" Barry asked. "What kind of art are we talking about?"

[fh_animalcrossing]

"All furniture comes pre-assembled with next-day delivery right to your mailbox." Because that made sense. Just wait until Barry saw that it turned into a leaf and fit into his pockets, too. "And I've got all sorts of the finest art around. Wild paintings and solemn paintings! Ancient statues and informative statues! And because you're such a good friend, I'll even give you a special price. Just 498,000 bells for your first purchase!"

[badassprodigy]

"$498,000 bells?"

Barry was mentally trying to figure out what the conversion rate was in his head. But let's be honest. He could not. Because bells.

"I don't know. What am I getting for $489,000 bells?"

[fh_animalcrossing]

"A genuine, one of a kind work of art! Or a piece of furniture. Your choice. I have the solemn painting on me, but to look at the rest, you'll have to come find my boat. It's parked up on the northside. Behind the trees."

Nothing suspicious about that, he just . . . valued his privacy.

[badassprodigy]

Well why would Barry be suspicious? After all Redd was wearing an apron. So trustworthy.

"Huh. Okay. Two things: Can I see this solemn painting? Also do you sell a retractable staircase?"

[fh_animalcrossing]

"Of course," Redd said, pulling out . . . a leaf. Which happened to also be a painting. "Here it is. Just look at all that detail. It's super . . . detailed."

As for the second thing:

"I could sell one, sure. But why don't you just use your ladder?"

[RNG declares that painting to be FAKE]

[badassprodigy]

"Because I don't want a ladder, I want retractable stairs," Barry said looking over the painting and just kind of shrugging at it. "Look, this looks like a nice painting and all but my usual decorating style involves nerdy shit like Space Battles or Spider-Guy. Got anything like that on you boat behind a grove of trees?"

[fh_animalcrossing]

"Sure, sure," Redd said. He didn't know what either of those things were, but he could probably rustle up something battle themed. "Just swing by sometime and take a look. I'll give you the cousins discount. Because we're so close."

[badassprodigy]

"... I just met you?"

[fh_animalcrossing]

"And we've got a real connection here! I can tell."

[badassprodigy]

"... Okay. Yeah. I'll go find you later behind a bunch of trees on a boat that's totally filled with art and furniture," Barry said having no intention to go there.

[fh_animalcrossing]

"Thanks. I'll see you around, cousin!"