Voicemail

[badassprodigy]

This Barry. If you're calling about that mess of a portal at the end of the hallway that looks like a glowing woman's you-know-what, I'm fucking working on it, okay? Seriously, fuck off. Otherwise leave a message.

Comments

A Text

[spin_kick_snap]

Roughly half an hour after Kathy left the warehouse, Barry's phone would get a text.

Rly sorry for barging in & yelling at you in front of Elsa. If I'd known she was there, I never would have. Wasn't cool of me. Sorry.

Re: A Text

[spin_kick_snap]

And a moment later...

On the off-chance you don't realize it, DON'T text me back while she's there. No one wants to be on a date w/someone texting away all night. I'm going radio silent anyway. If you weren't gonna text me back anyway, that's cool too.

Re: A Text

[notaweenie.livejournal.com]

And sometime during one of their MANY interruptions to their date (http://notaweenie.livejournal.com/6846.html) that evening, Barry was able to text back.

No worries. We're cool. Joker reamed me for the dinosaur thing too. I was also out of line earlier. Are we good?

Re: A Text

[spin_kick_snap]

Yeah, you were. I mean, I was out of line, too, but you're not my dad, you don't talk to me like that, okay?

Re: A Text

[notaweenie.livejournal.com]

... Okay. Yeah, I tend to fly off the fucking handle at a moments notice. I know I can be an a-hole sometimes and I'm lucky enough to have friends like you to call me when I'm full of shit. Sorry.

Re: A Text

[spin_kick_snap]

Then we're good. You say something to me like that again and we won't be, but if you forgive me, I forgive you.

Which would mostly be Kathy avoiding him like whoa, because while she had no problems standing up for other people, yelling on her own behalf was still a bit beyond her.

Hope your date is going better now. She can't hold me barging in against you right?

She checked her watch and thought about it.

Isn't it a little early for the movie to be over?

Re: A Text

[notaweenie.livejournal.com]

You're forgiven. And we're taking a quick break between the many interruptions tonight. You were just our first.

Re: A Text

[spin_kick_snap]

Omg. Do I even want to know who else?

She did, Barry. She definitely did.

Re: A Text

[notaweenie.livejournal.com]

Joker and two other people STOPPED by to break up the frivolity. The whole evenings been a fucking nightmare. Gotta go she's coming back.

Re: A Text

[spin_kick_snap]

Kathy's own reply was a bit delayed, what with the chase for a purse snatcher she'd had going on when Barry had texted her.

So, almost ten minutes later, he'd get a simple Good luck! And don't forget to tell her she's pretty! Oooh! Even better--she's smart!

Re: A Text

[notaweenie.livejournal.com]

And it was much, much later when Barry finally texted her back.

Didn't see your text. Didn't tell her she was pretty or smart (which she is) but I did tell her that I liked her and we're going to have a second date.

...

Not at the warehouse. Never again at the warehouse. Probably in a bank vault where we can't get interrupted.

E-mail

[sharp_as_knives]

Mr. Ween,

I was wondering if I could enlist your help. We've a mutual friend I would like to encourage to make better use of electronics; I'm hoping you can develop something to help.

If you're interested, please let me know. You may visit me to discuss it over dinner, or I can come to your warehouse if you prefer. I'm prepared to pay you for your assistance in cash, food, or a favor to be named.

Thank you,

Dr. Hannibal Lecter

[stacyexperiment]

[From here]

"I mean, that's nice and all but I'm really pretty sure we weren't going to have kids together anyway."

[tigerundercover]

"Right. Um. Okay, I'm sorry this took a little while, but. The first thing you need to know is your father is fine. Or, um, he will be? He almost wasn't, but he is now, so don't freak out. And I'm sorry I had to impersonate your mother. Okay, I'm not sorry I did that because it worked but still, I guess it's kind of weird. Sooooooo. Call me back if you have questions? Anyway. Bye!"

[notaweenie.livejournal.com]

Went here (http://throughaphase.livejournal.com/590.html?thread=1252174#t1252174), here (http://begmetwice.livejournal.com/691.html?thread=28595#t28595) and here (http://craftyladyparts.livejournal.com/477.html?thread=235997#t235997)

[notaweenie.livejournal.com]

[Went here (http://elated-or-gassy.livejournal.com/1466.html?thread=22714#t22714), here (http://iceolatedqueen.livejournal.com/745.html?thread=29673#t29673) and here (http://spin-kick-snap.livejournal.com/760.html?thread=277240#t277240)]

Crazy Phone Day

[suitably_heroic]

[[ from here ]]

"Hey! I don't have manboobs!"

In Atton's defense, the phone had woken him up.

Re: Crazy Phone Day

[notaweenie.livejournal.com]

[Went here (http://vdistinctive.livejournal.com/915.html?thread=106131#t106131), here (http://talentforlying.livejournal.com/752.html?thread=12784#t12784) and here (http://never-dull.livejournal.com/974.html?thread=1604302#t1604302)

[likes-ducklings.livejournal.com]

[from here (http://likes-ducklings.livejournal.com/631.html?thread=95095#t95095)!]

"Um. I don't really know a lot about things to get for guys -- I'm kind of bad at that kind of stuff? But if you were looking for something dirty...I mean, you could pick him some flowers and not clean them off?"

Pause.

"...oh, duh, you meant the other kind of dirty, huh? Then I -- oh gosh, I don't know. What do boys like? Some kind of sex...clothes? I don't know!"

[notaweenie.livejournal.com]

[Here! (http://iceolatedqueen.livejournal.com/745.html?thread=29929#t29929)]

[spin_kick_snap]

[From here]

By this point, Kathy had had it. "Oh, just fuck you."

[myownface]

[From here!]

"Oh, shit. If calling people to talk about our sex lives is spring tradition, I have so been dropping the ball these past few years. Okay, so, like, sit down, because I will talk your ear off about sex if you let me. Like, ignoring that the last time I had any was... shit, it wasn't even with that Twi'Lek on Nar Shaddaa, I got shot at that time. And weird island shit, I maintain, just doesn't count. So, me and Ez--"

And then the message cut off, because these things had time limits, Spark.

[geniuswithasmartphone]

[From here]

Finally. A message that he understood, even if he didn't understand why Sparkle was sending it. "A'ight, a'ight, hold on. First off, you really think the Mister's gonna let the angels take the time box? You out ya damn mind. But, hell, even if he did, the DeLorean ain't the only time-traveling device in play. Ignore the DeLorean. Go back to the original classic and get the original time machine."

[sharp_as_knives]

(From here!)

"Books are preferable to many things, but I would never suggest you take your clothing off before a polite conversation. I'm curious as to what a kitchen knife has to do with courtship, however."

[somethingwithturquoise]

At some point after all the dates were over, Barry and this dusty-ass voicemail would be getting a text:

I am so sorry, but you might need to break out the hand soap. Now that it's over, I have definitely decided to leave you for some old dude with tattoos and a bard that probably has a disturbing amount of puffy pants in his closet.

And, god, she hoped he would know she was totally joking, but, clearly, this was a risk she was willing to take.