Not-so-abandoned Warehouse: Saturday

[badassprodigy]

You know, most teenaged boys would most likely spend their Saturdays sleeping in and going to the beach to watch attractive people in their bathing suits.

Barry was spending his time looking at the results of scientists who had "claimed" to map the human genome and laughing at all their inaccuracies.

Barry has different priorities. Sadly.

[Open but SP]

Comments

[notmysupervisor.livejournal.com]

So just because Cheryl and Pam were in fantastic moods yesterday did not, of course, mean it was going to last. Which was why Cheryl was banging her way into the warehouse now with a rather large ocelot on a leash, and a bag under one arm. "Ween! You little shithead, are you in here?"

[notaweenie.livejournal.com]

Shit.

Barry shouted back in a high pitched voice that was supposedly female.

"No! Sorry! There's no berries here! Only peasants!"

Maybe that would chase her away.

[notmysupervisor.livejournal.com]

The reply Barry got was first the roar of a large cat. (Though smaller than most.) Because Babou was starting to notice that he was in a new place, and maybe he could play here?

And then Cheryl wandered over, with her ocelot on a leash. "I didn't ask about berries, dipshit. We know it was you who tampered with our stuff and did the -- dinosaur thing."

[spin_kick_snap]

Yeah, after her probably awkward run-in with Gorgon at the Arms, Kathy was running to Barry's warehouse like her ribbons were on fire.

"Ugh!" she announced when she showed up. And then, noticing the ocelot, she asked, "...Are you doing animal testing in the warehouse? I'm really not sure how your Ethics Committee feels about that."

[holyshitsnacks.livejournal.com]

"Cheryl," Pam said, insistently. "Cheryl. Cheryl. Cheryl. Cheryl. Cheryl. Looooook."

Pam was waving her hand in front of her own face, slowly.

"THE COLORS."

Soooooooooo ... that was happening.

[notaweenie.livejournal.com]

Barry blinked at Pam and then looked back at Cheryl since seemed to be the most lucid at the moment.

And that was pretty scary.

"You guys made us sort drugs and fucking porn!" Barry protested. "How can you think this is actually teaching?"

[notaweenie.livejournal.com]

Do you see the scratches on Barry? Do you? Don't let the tufted ears and cute spots fool you, Kathy.

"I'm not fucking experimenting on the damn ocelot!" Barry hissed. "I'm cat sitting as punishment for turning those two psychos into dinosaurs!"

[notmysupervisor.livejournal.com]

"If you will just shut the fuck up, Pam, we can go by the bakery and get you snacks and then look at Magic Eye posters the rest of the day," Cheryl promised. "But hang on, we're yelling at Barry right now."

It was maybe obvious that she'd been dealing with this for a couple days, now.

She turned back to Barry, adding, "Look, man, we just do what the syllabus says." Which...Pam wrote, so it was obviously all her fault. "Anyway. I wanna give you detention for what you did, but that seems too easy. So you're gonna babysit my cat for me, instead."

[notaweenie.livejournal.com]

Barry looked at Cheryl's "cat" and balked. "Wait. That's a fucking ocelot. What the fuck are you doing with an ocelot?"

[spin_kick_snap]

"Maybe that will teach you not to turn people into dinosaurs," Kathy said, kneeling down and making kissy noises at the kitty. "Look at you, you're so exotic," she cooed. "That's people-talk for awesome!"

Unless they were using to to talk about other people. Then it was rude.

[notmysupervisor.livejournal.com]

"I bought him."

Duh.

[notaweenie.livejournal.com]

As the ocelot began to pounce on Kathy with a snarl, Barry attempted to grab Kathy and shove her behind him. "Jesus fucking Christ! Pay attention! That thing I will hurt you."

Yes. Barry knew Kathy had super speed but he also has protective instincts.

[notaweenie.livejournal.com]

"How are you even capable of keeping another living animal alive?" Barry asked. "I mean really. You're fucking nuts. "

He looked at the ocelot warily. Maybe he should just take his punishment and get it over with.

"How long am I taking care of this thing?"

[holyshitsnacks.livejournal.com]

"Barry," Pam said, excitedly. As if she had just realized Barry was there. "Barry. Barry. Barry. Guess what? Guess what?"

Did her pupils seem especially large to anyone else? Yeah.

"Time, like, doesn't exist," Pam explained, breathlessly. "It's a dimension and we're traveling through it but you can totally stop. And back up. And then zoom. You're back where you started. But with time."

[raspberryturk]

Sometimes, Reno just needed to be in the warehouse. If Reno was just being in the warehouse with a box containing a remote-controlled toy helicopter under one arm, well, that was his business, and he'd thank Barry not to ask what he was doing with it as he thumped it down on his own worktable.

"Yo, Rookie." A beat. "Yo, Rookie's new pet coeurl?"

Well, that was new.

"Student, or did you kidnap from the Maryland Zoo?"

[notaweenie.livejournal.com]

Seriously?

"That's new to me, Pam. Let me call the Nobel committee and get started on your fucking award. "

The sad thing is that in Archer's universe she probably could win the Noble prize.

[notmysupervisor.livejournal.com]

"I was gonna say overnight, but keep him until Monday," Cheryl said, helpfully letting go of Babou's leash.

No one made fun of Pam to her face except for her, thank you.

Even if she kind of really deserved it.

"Have fuuuuuuun."

[notaweenie.livejournal.com]

"I'm fucking cat sitting for one of the fucking psychos who teaches around here," Barry grumbled as he applies a bandage to yet another scratch. "It should be in a zoo. Fucking thing could use some fucking attention. It's like fucking Meowschwitz in here."

[raspberryturk]

"Gonna assume that's some kind of Earth joke," Reno replied, his tone as easygoing as ever. "You know my next question here is, if the thing is hell-bent on maulin' you, why you're keepin' it out in the open, right?"

It was kind of cute, though. Reno gave the ocelot a thoughtful looking over.

From over here.

[spin_kick_snap]

Kathy nearly went sprawling at the shove--she always forgot how strong Barry was--but caught her balance, twisted around in midair almost like a cat. "I could have gotten--Barry! Are you bleeding?!"

It was hard to tell from her angle, but it looked like the cat might have gotten him while he was knocking her out of the way.

[notaweenie.livejournal.com]

Barry took one look at the ocelot who started growling.

Shit.

[notaweenie.livejournal.com]

"Yeah, I'm fine," Barry grumbled looking at his arm. "It's just another fucking scratch."

[notaweenie.livejournal.com]

"Because I'm probably going to catch shit from everyone if I cage it up," Barry said. "It's okay. I'm working on something to keep it occu-"

The ocelot tried to jump on Barry. Barry jumped back and around and managed to keep from getting scratched. This time.

"-pied."

[raspberryturk]

"I see it's workin' out well for you," Reno mused, poking around the workbench for a few tools. "You want someone to cat-sit your friend there while you figure whatever it is out?"

Because Reno could handle a little ocelot, thanks. But only if his help was wanted and/or appreciated. Otherwise, he'd just be over here, pulling his new toy helicopter from the box.

[notaweenie.livejournal.com]

"Nah. The fucking squirrels will rat me out and Cheryl will find a way to screw me over," Barry said going back to work on what appeared to be robotic arm. "Shouldn't take much long anyway."

[raspberryturk]

"Fair enough," Reno replied, giving the arm thing a curious look. "You gonna wear that thing or something?"

It was an arm. Reno was pretty sure Barry wasn't going to just replace his arm with a metal one, but around here it seemed important to check.

[notaweenie.livejournal.com]

"Nope. Just going to let it be fastened to the work bench here," Barry said. "I'm going to use it to hold a laser pointer and hopefully keep this furry son of a bitch occupied."

[spin_kick_snap]

"You need to put some alcohol on it or something," Kathy said, looking at the cut and frowning. "You can't mind-over-body yourself into not getting infected by whatever that cat has on its claws."

And if it was Pam and Cheryl's ocelot, that 'whatever' could encompass a whole slew of things, most of them unsavory.

[notaweenie.livejournal.com]

"Yeah, I've got a first aid kit over here," Barry said as he walked over to the kit and the ocelot ran off to... well probably mark more territory. "It's getting a fucking workout today."

[spin_kick_snap]

"Let me?" Kathy said, reaching out to take the first aid kit from him. "Future doctor in training here."

And she was feeling guilty that he'd gotten hurt in her defense. Speaking of...

"You do remember my superpower, right?"

[notaweenie.livejournal.com]

"Yes, I remember your speed," Barry groaned but handed the kit over to Kathy. "It was a reflex thing."

[spin_kick_snap]

"You sure you're not a superhero?" Kathy teased lightly, pouring some disinfectant onto a cotton ball and dabbing his wound with it. "If your first reflex is to fling yourself between someone else and danger, you might have missed your calling."

[raspberryturk]

Reno... was not completely sure how getting a robot to entertain the cat was any different from getting someone else to do so for a few minutes, but hey, whatever made Barry happy.

Sometimes he wondered if the kid being all fucked up on science juice meant that his common sense was busted.

"Well, that thing points my way, and I'm gonna break its elbow," he decided with a shrug, picking up a screwdriver and starting to open up his helicopter toy. "I made my offer to watch the cat. If it bites me in the ass, we're gonna have words."

[notaweenie.livejournal.com]

"I'm too fucking short," Barry retorted/joked. "And it's a reflex from dealing with my friend Jeremy back home. He'd gt into allkinds of shit and I'd have to pull him out of it."